EgoAssassin.com - Music. Satire. Controversy.

What’s this obsession Hollywood has with writing British accents into every “accurately” portrayed or “historic-epic” movie? It seems like one acclaimed block buster after another is taken dead serious as being close to real events when in fact they should be looked at as a complete joke. Films like Alexander, Troy, Gladiator, 300, just to name a few, are perfect examples of this nonsense. Come on! We are supposed to believe that because the main character is speaking in some cool British accent that it has historical relevence and is legitimate to the story? It’s ridiculous. I know it is just a movie, but people turn around and say that it is so “true to life” as if that’s how it was? And I didn’t even mention how insane it is that the characters in these films are speaking English in the first place. How historically accurate is that? Or is it that we are too lazy to read subtitles and must pretend that the Romans spoke perfect English..oh and in a British accent? Who the hell makes this stuff up? I am not buying it people.

And why do they feel the need to always summarize years of complex historical events within a few cool italic lines of text? These are cute talking points, but come on now. What the hell is this? Are you kidding me? Has the audience really becoming this ignorant to throw awards at this garbage? It’s a comedy, not a serious film. What’s next? Are they going to do a film set in ancient Japan, but have all the Samurai’s speaking english? Wait….it’s already been done.

-From the Mind of the EgoAssassin

I’ve always wondered why we focus so much time and effort on impressing people we don’t necessarily like. I still can’t figure it out, but I’m sick of it.

Of all the things on this earth we choose to focus our time on….we decide to focus on appearance and image. What a bunch of nonsense. Do you ever get sick of it? I don’t care who you are or where you come from, you must be sick and tired of putting so much thought into how you come across to other people. And not only in your appearance, but in what you say or do. I’m not saying you should act on every single natural instinct you come across, but I’m saying that it’s ridiculous to get dressed up in a monkey suit every day and parade around in flashy cars to gain approval from society. What are we trying to prove anyways? Who are we fooling? Did we fool ourselves yet? Perhaps we have, but in the meantime I suggest you keep feeding your ego and telling yourself how wonderful you are. Keep worrying about your appearance and possessions to let others know what good taste you have.

Forget about the important things in life as they are truly secondary. It’s all about you.

-From the mind of the EgoAssassin

What is going on in today with this obsession of laziness and new ways to NOT walk? Have we lost our minds? We can’t walk anymore? It’s not good enough that we have the biggest or fastest cars, we also need to have the closest parking space every where we go? What happened to walking? What happened to being thankful for the legs that we were blessed with? Do you realize how many people cannot walk or have lost their walking? And we look for new ways to not use our feet or energy whatsoever. God forbid we break a sweat moving our fat a**es from one spot to the next. Is it efficiency or laziness?

And what is this Hollywood obsession with Segways? You need a “Segway” to get around now? Is that where we are headed? As if we haven’t become an obese enough country…now we need another reason not to exercise.

Get up and move a little. Wake up, wake up, wake up.

-From the Mind of the EgoAssassin

1. Tokyo, Japan - Estimated 35 Million

2. Mexico City, Mexico - Estimated 23 Million

3. Seoul, S. Korea - Estimated 22 Million

4. New York, USA - Estimated 22 Million

5. San Paulo Brazil - Estimated 20 Million

I’ve got a good idea, let’s place wild animals in a park for other people to stare at and then act surprised when they attack a visitor. Or how about we waltz into the ocean with a surfboard and then act shocked when a shark bites our ass. Alright so I am being overly sarcastic and aloof about the subject, but you get my point right? I obviously never want to see another human being (or myself) get hurt while exploring this mysterious world, but we need to wake up and realize that in most cases we are the ones mapping out these catastrophies. It’s all a risk, it’s all uncertain, and it is too often a luxury that turns into our frustration, don’t you see that? You can’t control these things, so stop expecting for everything to work out for you when you make these choices.

Please understand that I’m not hinting that we should ban all public zoo’s or simply never participate in extreme sports again…..What I’m saying that I’m sick and tired of people acting shocked when accidents happen in the arena of humans vs. nature. Why are we in such denial about this subject? We love to pretend that the world around us is a finely tuned ballet that is meant to revolve around our desire to explore or have fun, and we often forget that most of the tragedies that occur are simply by the choices we make. They may be good ideas at the time, but they still involve risk. Ask the automobile industry, they’ll tell you all about it.

So before you start throwing handcuffs on tigers or take your dog to counseling for his temper problem, just remember, you might be the problem too. This ain’t Disneyland.

-From the Mind of the EgoAssassin

For some reason I woke up today and decided I was going to start using the phrase “Don’t Jam Me Up” as much as humanly possible. I don’t know why I came to this conclusion, but I must say that I think this phrase has top notch comedy value and it simply sounds good to me (for some reason). What does it mean? Well who knows. I mean really, what does any catch phrase actually mean anyways? Usually coin phrases and slogans are just what their titles suggest……a stupid saying. But in my opinion, this phrase “don’t jam me up” could mean “don’t waste my time”, or maybe it means “leave me alone” or “don’t cramp my style”, or possible it means “don’t add to my problems”. But the bottom line is that I’m going to start using it, I don’t care what anyone thinks it means, but it can fit into so many ridiculous conversations. The more I think about it, the more I realize how well it can work on multiple levels and it is actually quite funny to hear as a serious comment, for example in response to a serious question or concern.

So please, don’t jam me up and let me live.

-The Ego Assassin

I’m sick and tired of everyone saying how “busy” they are. That’s a bunch of nonsense. We are all busy in one way or another and this is always by choice, not by default. And I’ve come to realize that people who claim or appear to be “busy” all the time are not as busy as they would like us to believe they are. These are the same people who will gladly take the time to talk for hours about nonsense like American Idol or what is going on in the world of celebrities like Paris Hilton. These are the same morons who are too busy to call you, but seem to find time to watch every popular television show and then recite lines of that garbage everywhere they go. Gossip, hype, drama, status, and complaints. You name it, we are obsessed with it.  And as if that was not bad enough, we pass it off as part of life and claim to be “busy” in life. That’s a bunch of bullsh**. You aren’t busy, in face most people are not THAT busy to do their simple duties in life, but everyone sure does pretend to be.

It’s all a facade and another way of going through the motions in life. We all love to pretend that we’re so busy and therefore make our lives seem more important than they really are. We buy things we don’t need to fill the empty voids in our life, and as if that’s not enough, we walk around telling everyone how “busy” we are, but rarely have any actual results to show for it.

Keep up the charades. It is fooling the rest of em’, but not me.

-From the Mind of the EgoAssassin