I’m a slow learner in life, but I’ve picked up on some golden rules regarding cosmetics and fragrances:
- Having a clean, fresh odor is simply not good enough; You must go above and beyond. Soak a few brand name or otherwise unknown chemicals into your skin until you can be smelt from a mile away.
- Women need to cake on lipstick and eyeshadow so that others can easily determine that they do in fact have a face.
- If you don’t wear a form of makeup, you simply look haggard and don’t resemble people in magazines. (Remember that no one wants to see what you actually look like in real life)
- Men must have on hand at least four different fragrance products between the bedroom, the bathroom, and the office, so that way they can be sure to achieve the perfect aroma of miscellaneous shaving creams, bitter deodorants, and even some breath mint on the side.
- Have a mirror on your person at all times….just to remind yourself of how good you look today.
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